Why am I (Still) here?

I am not a spring chicken, and I am not contributing anything to the Kingdom of God, at least in my own eyes. So I wonder why I am still breathing.

I have been mulling that question for a while. Why in the world does God still have me here instead of six feet under?

I guess the short answer to me is to glorify Him. It’s the only one that’s biblical that I can come up with.

But I haven’t done much of that lately, and in fact have been a poor witness. I lose my temper, curse, drink, smoke, flirt and watch stuff I shouldn’t. I’m not exactly an evangelical poster child.

In fact, as I write this, I am in a bar drinking a Guinness and listening to the Rolling Stones. You’ve come a long way baby!

I suppose God get’s the glory in that my continued presence reflects how patient He is. I am also a breadwinner, and in my mind that is the ONLY reason  I am still around. In a couple of years, when I see that responsibility being over, I will be ready to check out.

But one holdover from my evangelical days haunts me and is one factor I am guessing is why I am still on Planet Earth. This is that the Bible makes it clear that some people (actually, a lot) are going to Hell.

Is the reason God is so patient with me is that He wants me to come around and begin sharing Christ with people–again?  I haven’t done it in years, mostly because I think I have nothing to say. And why would I want to invite people into the kind of life I am living right now?

Oh, there’s also the sad view that I am a coward. I just want to be liked too much.

But in analyzing the world views of the people I know, I can’t see how telling people that Jesus died for their sins and wants them to spend eternity in heaven can be any more far fetched than some of their ideas. For Pete’s sake!

In the FINAL analysis, it doesn’t really matter what I think about my continued life before eternity. God has me here. I do believe he has a purpose in it.

Indeed, I came to Christ in high school on the idea that God has a purpose for me. I still think that is true.

My task it seems is to truly be HIS, and not dictate to Him what I think should be happening in my life. I may never know why I am still here until eternity.


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