I recently sent a little Internet post to three of my closest friends. It reads:
“I’m not an asshole. I’m actually one of the nicest people you will ever meet. You are just pissed because I can see through your bullshit.”
I suggested to my friends that when I die they make sure this get on my tombstone, except that they should change the verbs to the past tense. One of my friends replied,”Oh, to have the courage to put this on Facebook.” Another one, however, wrote back telling me that they were worried about me and sending me a link for some counseling in my area.
I wrote him back and told him that the other two friends were indeed therapists, and that they share my sarcastic humor. His reply? “Stay positive.”
If I have one more person tell me to stay positive (and this mainly comes from Christians) I am going to puke. I am beginning to think this philosophy is another syncretistic Christian heresy. I read my friend’s Email at 3 am (I don’t sleep well these days) and it didn’t help my insomnia.
I laid there thinking of what the Scriptures say about “the power of positive thinking”. The only verse that came to mind was “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Now if these people mean by “be positive” to have hope, then perhaps I could see their thinking. But the only hope I see is not in this world. I take these well intended rebukes as meaning “hang in there and expect good results.” Sorry, I don’t buy it.
This is why I got a kick from the flick “Anger Management”. Jack Nicholson spends the whole movie trying to get Adam Sandler ticked off so he will finally stop letting people walk all over him, at the behest of his girlfriend. Of course, they didn’t follow up with what happened to Sandler when he let his boss have it. I could tell him.)