It’s not for me to determine the right kind of wrong

Some things seem impossible. But not to Leo Palomino.

In the film, “The Right Kind of Wrong”, Leo falls head over heels for a woman after he watches her punt a football clear out of his neighborhood. The thing is, his lady-of-interest Colette is in her wedding gown and ready to march into a church across the street from his house in order to get married.

Somehow a little thing like Colette being ” just married” doesn’t stop Leo. He crashes the wedding and the reception and ends up crashing out the door after Colette’s new husband doesn’t appreciate him hitting on her.

Leo’s behavior is not out of character for him. His life is a mess because he is a rare duck.

In fact, his ex-wife has written a blog about her marriage to him called “Why You Suck”. The blog has become a book and his ex-wife Julie is now famous.

This is particular galling for Leo because he is a writer, albeit a failed one. He works as a dishwasher. The job doesn’t really bother Leo, though.

Narrating his story he says,“Dish washing gives results that are immediate. Lacking in longer term pursuits like writing a novel or pursuing a woman.”

What he doesn’t like is having to put up with having his reputation completely trashed. Customers in the restaurant speak in hushed tones about him.

The wedding crasher does not lose his ardor, however. Leo keeps pursuing Colette. He does things like send her sunflowers on her honeymoon, something he learns from her mother that she likes.

All this attention just makes Colette angry-and her husband Danny even angrier. At first the snow skiing Olympian plays softball with Leo. Danny does nothing.

Finally, however, he (at the encouragement of his fellow wealthy friends) goes after him after he learns Leo and Colette have shared a “moment” watching a rare albino bear.

This happened at another “crash” by Leo.   Colette leads tours-of-the-unusual in their town.

Leo signed up for one to be near her. When he explained while observing the bear that local Indians had thought the bear to be magic, Colette looked at him with admiration.

Leo looked her in the eye and said, “That bear….is proof of the impossible.”

I find myself today in similar hopeless circumstances regarding a woman I have gone nuts over. What makes her unattainable? Well let’s see:

–I’m married (although I have not spoken to my wife hardly at all in two years) and the marriage has been dead much longer than that;

–She is half my age and in fact has a mother who is probably younger than me;

–I’m broke;

–I have an incurable disease, though it is in remission;

–Everyone involved is a Christian with biblical views on divorce and remarriage. (At least  I assume so-I have never talked to the young lady about it.)

All of these things make me a real loser in comparison to Leo. With all this baggage I cannot even think about pursuing her. Maybe they do it in the movies, but…

On the plus side close Christian friends of mine think given my circumstances divorce is an option. Remarriage they are not very vocal about, although dating has been mentioned.

I am still in process on the whole thing. All I know is I cannot let go of this young lady.

I do have a history of getting crushes on women. But this seems to be different-I think. When I recall meeting her the first time I remember that I was in a trance. Thinking of that meeting, if that was not love at first sight, I do not know what that condition could be.

Despite it’s raunchiness (the idea of “love” in “The Right Kind of Wrong” seems to be shagging), I do get some truth from the storyline in the film.

SPOILER ALERT

As time goes on, Colette realizes that she does not belong with Danny. She is a rebellious, rabble rouser with a conscience. She is attracted to Leo because he is the same kind of person.

Colette begins to respect him when she learns he walked away from a book deal because the publisher wanted him to make changes. Leo is Gary Cooper-esque in his pursuit of her and in his lack of compromise.

Even though Danny is physically more like Cooper, he is a weakling morally. Colette begins to see that Leo has character.

Eventually Leo  sets out to prove that at least one of the things his wife wrote about him was inaccurate by overcoming one of his fears (heights) in dramatic fashion in front of a lot of people. He learns to hang glide, but is injured as he crashes at an outdoor fundraiser Danny is hosting. (He runs a kid’s camp, making him seem to be even more of a “winner” in “society”).

When Colette sees this and then learns that Danny has been working behind the scenes to harm Leo and his friends, she leaves her husband.

This seems to bode well for Leo. However, even though she drunkenly seduces Leo one night, she tells him the next day, “I left Danny because of you, not for you.”

Once again it seems that for Leo a relationship with Colette is unachievable. He finally accepts the situation and says goodbye.

I knew, however, that the movie would not end on that note. I am aware that before loose ends are tied up the protagonist must face increasingly difficult circumstances which prevent them from reaching their goal.

It is Colette who breaks the stalemate, realizing that she wants Leo. She shows up at his house, and well…you know the rest.

I am currently where Leo was when he gave up. The only hope I have is that one day this young woman may pursue me.

If women have the sixth sense I think they due, I believe she knows I like her. Leo was right about one thing—pursuing a woman is a long-term deal.

As a Christian there are a lot of issues I have not resolved in my own life obviously. I also see that I have turned the girl into an idol.

Even the first commandment says God doesn’t want anyone or anything to compete with him.

Further, Chicago pastor Erwin Lutzer makes the point that when our prayers turn in to disaster (and indeed my whole life has become one), we should put the burden on to God. Lutzer says in so many words to tell God,“I’ll do my best but I am putting these concerns back on you. I was never meant to carry them.”

it’s a perfect application to I Peter 5:7 in the Bible:

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

I like verse 6 as well: “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”

I am better off knowing and serving God fully, giving up this false worship of this young lady, and entrusting him with all my worries about how it’s going to all work out.

Frankly, as the current American president said on a difficult issue during an election intervie, “It’s above my pay grade.”

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