Impossible Love

“Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring.
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire.”

It is not well with my soul.

As I have noted in this space previously, classic movies seem to reveal the true nature of male/female relations much better than today’s flicks.

An example is “The V.I.P.s”(1963). It features some desperate people stranded at Heathrow Airport in London during a horrendous fog. These folks stand to lose a lot because they can’t get where they think they need to go.

The film focuses especially on Frances Andros (Elizabeth Taylor) and her failed marriage to billionaire Peter Andros (Richard Burton). Unbeknownst to Peter, his wife is running off to New York with Marc Champselle, a notorious womanizer, who claims that this time he really is in love.

What does Frances see in him? He’s helpless, at least to her. Marc needs her, unlike her constantly busy husband.

Peter finds out about the tryst when he reads a note left at home by Frances. Because she and Marc are stuck at Heathrow, he is able to come back to the airport after dropping her off and perform all kinds of gyrations to get her back.

Peter threatens Marc, offers the broke gigolo tons of money to never see his wife again, and pleads with Frances. Not of these things work.

Finally Peter is resigned to his fate and gives Frances up. But at the hotel where everyone is waiting for the fog to clear, he posts a letter to her which she will get in New York.

The letter is intercepted and given to Marc since they are still in London. When Frances talks to a hung over Peter in the terminal the next morning, she demands the letter. It is a suicide note.

Finally, she realizes her husband needs her. She tells Marc she cannot go off with him, which of course leaves him nonplussed. He can’t believe he has lost Frances to a threatened suicide.

Who woulda thunk it?“The V.I.P.s” reveals the mysteries of a woman.

Part of me rooted for Peter and Frances to reconcile since marriage is the normal order of things. I wasn’t as thrilled when he tells Frances that he will “try” to be a better husband. That’s not exactly a vote of confidence for Frances.

The female mind was presented to me front and center this week.  Waiting for coffee I ran into a woman I have a huge crush on. It’s either an infatuation or love. The more I think about it, it seems to be the latter. I can’t explain it. It is what it is.

I had not seen this young lady for months and now I have seen her twice in two weeks. I have written of her here. She is my impossible love.

She is half my age and despite a failed relationship with my wife, I am still legally married.

At the first recent meeting she gave me a tight hug. This time it was in a venue not appropriate to that, but still this desperate dude was looking for signs of responsiveness toward me.

Like most women, she was hard to read. The only thing that gives me pause is that she doesn’’t hang around long. As one friend who I told of this encounter told me, this is potentially “damning.” I replied to him that I prefer to think of it as her running from the inevitable.

But as with the first meeting, I left discombobulated. I couldn’t do anything, so I just took a long walk and begged God to deal with my pain. He did-some

What is painful about this is that any potential with her seems well nigh impossible to me. So knowing that, before I left on my walk I searched “Impossible love” (and added in one case “with someone half your age”) on Google.

I actually found some fairly good advice from reputable sources. “Psychology Today” actualiy had a study which graphed the acceptable age difference in society for a dating relationship. That one of the researchers had a name that resembled “bunk” did bother me a little though.

“GQ” advised to forget the general public and go for it. Author Juliannne Smolinkski says, “I’ve discussed dating out of your demographic with men and women alike, and while everybody has a lot to say on the subject of age, I’m of the opinion that it is, indeed, nothing but a number.”

Dr. Jean Reynolds dismissed self-help experts who tell people to “get over it” when they are in love in an impossible situation. Instead Reynolds says we should learn from the experience.

She also writes,”Hidden within our unfulfilled yearnings is the discovery that we are important—even if it is only to ourselves—and capable of loving another person—even if the current object of our desires doesn’t know we’re alive.”

When I combine her thoughts with my own biblical view (which is pretty much only in the head and not the heart right now) that I am valuable to God, then I am inspired that perhaps I am capable of loving a woman despite my disastrous first go-round. I don’t have to get tossed on the ash heap of romance.

But the most poignant thoughts I got while “googling” had to do with why I was in so much pain over meeting this girl this week The answer came from Reynolds, who says that “impossible love is an exceedingly common and painful experience.” I certainly agree.

The two times I have met this young lady of my dreams, I feel like Janis Joplin singing “take another little piece of my heart now, baby. Oh, oh, break it!”I

I prayed a couple of days ago, “Take her out of my heart Lord. Replace her with you. She is just another substitute for the person I really need.”

I need Jesus-the true lover of my soul. It has not been well with my soul. But it will be.

I woke up this morning, a Saturday, in the same usual pain. I can’t seem to shake this woman. The only thing I can do is keep busy with things that interest me. This is why I got out of the house. I intended to clean, but I would have just moped all day about her.

I have no idea what this impossible love means and where God is in it. The Scriptures do say that fire is His messenger (Psalm 104:4).

God, I’ll let you tell me what this burning in my heart means.


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