Mr. Movin’ On

Women today are “interesting” to say the least. I have been reflecting on the woman formerly known as my crush. When I ran into her,  which until recently was rare, she always made a bee line for me.  Even last week she stopped on the street to gab with me. But I always meet her “in passing”. She always has somebody to meet or somewhere to go.

Hell. The woman has thousands of Facebook friends and it seems tons of real ones. She is very popular. 

What I seem to think is women today have adopted male workaholism in the workplace. This is a bad sign to me because in my Ruth=Boaz analogy it was Ruth who went after Boaz. Now he did express interest in her welfare, but that was it. But it was Ruth who pursued him.
At this stage, this is what I want in a woman. I don’t want a damn boss, or nursemaid, or breadwinner or workaholic. I want a woman who is crazy about ME. That’s it. I thought this girl had potential to be, which is why I found her attractive.
I have been doing a lot of reflecting and writing today over why I have been in so much pain over this. Part of it is I realize that I need like us all to be loved. But I need a woman who loves me–i.e. who is in love with me.
In the Bible story Ruth went after an older man and Boaz told her, “Bless you my daughter for not going after one of the younger men.” In the final analysis, this babe I had the hots for went after a younger guy her age. Shoot that’s normal.
And who can blame her if she did like me. I wouldn’t get off the dime. I was married. But I thought she was special-like Ruth. She is a cool person, but I have now figured she isn’t my “Ruth”. She’ll be some young dude’s wife and fulfill her biological clock and have babies, the two cars, etc.
I think I was in love with this chick. But in a funny sort of way over the course of the day I have lost a little respect for her. I figure,”She doesn’t want ME but some young dude like every other chick. Her loss.”  Not that I’m special mind you. But the encouraging thing is that I have kind of analyzed this for next time and I am hopeful there will be a next time. I am not a eunuch.
I have used this experience with her to learn what I want in a woman.
Jamaican singer OMI knows what I want:
She gives me love and affection
Baby did I mention
You’re the only girl for me
Oh, I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her.
Shaking my love for this young woman is not going to be easy for sure. As Maroon 5 sings, this summer is gonna hurt like a $*$**.
I see her dancing in the streets
Sipping champagne on the beach
So expensive when she eats
Cause she’s so fancy
I see her when I go to sleep
I check my phone when I am weak
She never posts anything deep
Cause she’s so fancy
Getting off Facebook was a good idea because it will help alleviate the pain the next few months.
She wants it all
She’s always taking something
And now I’m left with nothing
I’m ripping off, oh
I’m ripping off that bandage
Because I just can’t stand it
In a recent post I called myself Mr. Obligation in terms of my relationship with my family. With the woman formerly known as my crush, I one day want to refer to myself Mr. Movin’ On.
I’m breakin’ down
Gonna start from scratch
Shake it off like an etch-a-sketch
My lips are saying goodbye
My eyes are finally dry
I’m not the way that I used to be
I took the record off repeat
It killed me but I survived
And now I’m coming alive (Fifth Harmony-Miss Movin’ On)
To move on, I’ve gotta let go of her and the hurt.

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