It’s better to talk to God about my crush than suppress my feelings for her

If you want to get an idea of human love, watch a few classic movies

Just recently I watched or peeked into two. The plots today had to do with people “spelled” by witches. One was a comedy, but the other was a serious Danish drama.

Should I give you the good news or the bad news? The comedy it is.

In “Bell, Book and Candle” (1958)  Shep Henderson (Jimmy Stewart)  is a man about to get married when he encounters Gillian Holroyd (Kim Novak). The latter is attracted to Shep, and casts a spell to make him love her.

The conjuring  wrecks Shep’s marriage plans. It doesn’t hurt Gillian that the woman Shep dumps is an old college enemy of hers.

What Gillian didn’t expect is that she would actually fall in love with Shep. When the man learns about and comes to believe the spell he works to get it removed and breaks up with  Gillian. She is really hurt and begins to exhibit human characteristics like tears. Furthermore, falling in love causes her to lose her witchy powers.

The good news is that Shep discovers Gillian actually loves him and he loves her too. Happy ending.

The bad news comes in the form of the Danish film “Days of Wrath” (1943). Set in the middle of a witch hunt in 16th century Denmark, the movie focuses on a young wife who falls for the son of her elderly priest husband

The son and pastor’s wife carry on an affair while the priest goes about his duties and the live-in mother and grandmother looks on in disgust. In the belief system portrayed in the film, if a witch wishes you dead, you were toast.

The priest dies after his wife confesses her love for the son. Frankly, the reverend should have kept his mouth shut because his death is the result of asking his young spouse if she ever wished he were dead. “A hundred times”, she answers. He gets up to go to bed, and falls over dead.

At the funeral, the Mom accuses her of witchcraft and the girl confesses,”Yes, through the Evil One I enchanted the son and murdered the father.” The movie ends before the expected burning at the stake.

The old man loses his young trophy wife and his life, the son loses his mistress and his religion and the world loses (in inference) a wicked dame who truly loved the son. Love hurts.

Today the film “Show Business”  (1944) comes to mind. In this flick, George Doane (George Murphy-a future U.S. Senator) is a song and dance man who falls in love with a female colleague. However, she dumps him for her agent, who she sees as more stable and “safe”.

It is clear, though, that the two still love each other after George comes back from war. She is intent on marrying her agent anyway, but in the end, George gets his girl.

Today I am still hoping this may be true in my case. I still can’t get over my crush.

I am out of state on vacation right now, partly to forget her. I have been succeeding, but I have been replacing her with some less than godly behavior.

For example, although it wasn’t that big of a deal, I responded to a sandwich shop worker who seemed to show an interest in me today. She was a woman closer to me in age than my crush, but quite attractive. The lady was looking me straight in the eye when I walked in and when I stared back we locked eyes.

Eventually I began to talk with her. I learned she is from a oountry in central Asia. We hit it off.

I told a friend about it and she said that first  I needed to take care of my marriage. She added, “I tell people in bad relationships-and yours is bad–that unless they lift their head up they could miss the love of their life as they pass right on by.”

I told her about my crush and that I believe that I had already done that. “She has a boyfriend now,” I said.

When I got home I reflected on this flirtation and on this crush. I did something I promised not to do, which was to go back on social media and see what she was up to. I expected to see a pic of her and her new beau and I did.

My heart began to break again.  She is so beautiful to me. I was thinking,”That should be me next to her.”

It was then that I realized that I had been stuffing my feelings for her instead of taking them to God. The feelings are still there and I have been seeking to medicate my pain instead of dialoguing with God about her.

I began to pray and asked God to once again intervene and give her to me. I did tell Him that if we were meant for each other and if she was not meant for her boyfriend, to break them up and inspire her to wait for me.

I realize this seems like a selfish prayer, but I believe it has helped me leave her in God’s hands. After all, the Scriptures do say the following:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7)

If God says a final “no” regarding her, I can live with it. But I can’t live with ongoing feelings for her that are not influenced by God’s truth and His Holy Spirit.

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