I have been going about this all wrong.
This blog has been filled with a lot of piss and moaning about my romantic problems. Indeed, it is just about the theme. I should just rename it “Losses of the Lovelorn or something.
As I’ve recorded, the chick half my age I have had the hots for is now in a relationship that seems to be getting more solid by the day. My deceased marriage does not appear to have any hope of doing a reenactment of the Valley of Dry Bones found in Ezekiel. And although I have placed my attentions on a new woman, a real beauty, I have been pretty much friend zoned by her.
But you know what? I don’t care.
This is because I have headier stuff to think about. I have a new lease on life.
This morning I went to the doc. I am generally nervous when I do that because I have a potentially fatal disease and these quarterly visits are to check how I am doing.
I was even more nervous today. This is because (for a lot of reasons) I have not been taking my medicine. I was worried about getting a bad report and a tongue lashing fro my great physician.
My worries were all for nought. I walked out of there in a bright mood. It is odd I felt this way because I regularly am checked out as fine. But this time I would not have been surprised if things had turned out differently.
Maybe it was the beautiful autumn morning, made gorgeous by a lazy sun, hanging clouds and cool, crisp temperatures. However, whatever prompted my mood, I had the emotion of a man just released from prison.
I do believe there is a reason I am still here. For the first time since I was diagnosed with this illness, I said,”I want to live.” I said that to God after I walked out of the doctor’s office into this October day.
I have no idea what “living” means for me from here on out. But I am going to find out. Doing this has to start with going to God for His take on this.
Anyhow, it has been some day. I feel very much energized, alive and hopeful. In fact, I have been feeling so good I keep treating friends I meet who walk into this coffee shop.
It’s great to be alive.