I think I will die soon.
There are a lot of candidates standing in line to kill me.
First and foremost is my broken heart. I am as lonely as can be.
Then there is my age. I keep reading of celebs who are passing on and they are either in their early 60s like me or not to much older.
Furthermore, there is a time bomb ticking in my body. I have an incurable disease that is under control at the moment, but which could easily put me in the grave if not addressed. Given the state of health care in this country, that is a distinct possibility.
One possible cause of my demise could eventually be my temper. Like the disease, it too is generally under control. But occasionally it rears its ugly head and I lose it with someone. One of these days one of those “someones” is going to lose it so badly themselves that they will plant me six feet under.
But if I could predict the future, my guess is my death will come from the first factor listed above. I am in constant internal pain. I have thought of suicide it is so bad, but only in the abstract. In the final analysis I am too much of a coward and a Christian to kill myself.
I long for a woman, but the ones I want are not available. One is married and the other is too young. Oh yes, I’m married too. That needs to be dealt with, and soon, because it is a marriage name only, having itself bit the dust many moons ago.
I am no great catch, however. I have very little to offer a woman but myself. No doubt any woman reading the above would run for the hills immediately.
Thus, this blog may in the immediate future lie in cyberspace unattended. Who knows? Perhaps this will be my last post.